Monday, August 31, 2009

Just a little thought ..

I knew i shouldnt have look backed.. cause when i do. I start to think about you again. but, i know i'm over you. I know because.. when i do look back at our old memories. I'm happy. Verry happy actually. I dont get sad, and start building up with tears. I actually smile and laugh. I look at how we were then, as a life lessson. I lost you, and i learned SO MUCH from that experience. Being with you, honestly, changed me. Changed me into a person who isn't afraid of anything anymore. Someone stronger. You helped me to learn how to not give up, learn how to trust, learn how to always look forward to the better things in life, learn how to love, and most of all learn how to be myself. There's someone new in my life, and im happy with him. If it wasn't for you, i proably never wouldve let myself open up to him. But since i did, i'm happier than ever. That just shows, everyone has that one person in life whos gonna make you, break you, hurt you, love you, into the person that you really are.

Thursday, July 2, 2009


i havent blogged in awhile. and i dont know, i was just in neeeeed of expressing myself on here, since i cant let it out to anyone else, and especially the person i NEED to let it out to .. so here it goes. Lately .. you ain't doin your part. Yeah i know, your not mines yet, so its not like your commited to me or anything.. but, a phonecall during the day just to checkup, and a phonecall at night to say goodnight like you used to.. WOULD be nice. But i aint gona force it. I know that its not that thats bothering me, it's something else. Its that just lately you havent been showing you care about me, the way you say you do. Actions speak louder than words.. annd i wan't you to prove it to me. Prove to me that everyything you say is realtalk. Because now days i don't get that same vibe from you anymore, I STILL FEEL THE SAME WAY AS I DID SINCE DAY ONE. but it just feels as if you don't anymore. Reason why i wont tell you why i feel like this is because.. your proably just not gona wanna work it out with me. " sorrry sorry sorry i dont keep up, i guess were not just work out " is what im gona hear from you, i know that for a fact. THATS NOT WHAT I WANT. I WANT US to work it out, if your saying sorry DO SOMETHING about it yeno. don't just watch us fall apart and let it happen. If you say you want me, do your part better. show me, that you want me, not just by words. I dont wanna waste my time on you. I KNOW your gonna leave soon, six months.. damn. I really dont care what others say, i know for a fact i can wait. I WANT TO WAIT FOR YOU. For some reason .. it just feels like your worth it. But with the way your acting .. HOW can i keep my feelings the same?! All i'm saying right now, is get your mind straight, know what you want, before i end up not knowing what I want anymore.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

and everytime,

I find something thats going good for me, something just always has to ruin it and get in the way. I find myself smiling more often now, meeting you made me happier than ever. But i know, soon, your gona be leaving, and deep inside its gona hurt me.
You leaving, scares me .. I seriously just don't know what to do. You say to try and keep my feelings that i have for you the same as it is right now, but thats a promise that i know i would WANT to keep, but IMPOSSIBLE to keep, because we both WILL change over the six months your gona be gone, and how are we supposed to just pick up from where we started.. everythings just unfair. I wanted to get to you know you better, because i do see myself being with you in the longrun. But this is a big challenge for me. I can't go waiting around for you, and i don't want to let you go just yet. Being in this situation really sucks, I don't know what to do .. I dont know what to do .. just keeps replaying over and over and over again in my head. Maybe i'm just thinking to much about it, and being to caught up in my thoughts, and i just need to relax a little. But I just really do hope that eventually everything will work out, and that we can be how we are right now, happy.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


FOR THIS SHIT, BYE FOREVER. hahaahhahaaaaa
or maybe not, shit idk .. not gonna update for awhile, my life is way to busy for this alreadddddy, seriously.

OH AND HAPPY 1MONTH SL21'S! ( chelsy ridge adrian and rachel )
This is what I love, and can't stop lovin'.
Get wasted at partys, from 9 till 7 in the morning.
I live for the music, rollin' blunts, feelin' high, gettin' loaded
- or take some pills and go to La La Land.
Spendin' all my money on dope and extreme high price tickets.
But in the end, it's all worth it.
I like to live in my own world. Fuck regular life! Fuck the '9-to-5' job!
I'm totally enjoyin' every moment, every hour, every minute.
Thats what I do at fridays and saturdays. Why should I take life so seriously?
I just want to do, what I like to do! Be far from reality, 'cause I can't stand society!
It's my own world, I just want to hear the music.

I think the whole system fucking sucks.
everybody's working their fucking ass up during the week,
getting totally fucking stressed out - So what's wrong, and what's right?
I live for the weekend. - dj showtek. hahahahahaha! so interesting.
and no i dont live like that. stupids. lmfao!

;( i remember this quote helped us get over our past relationship
and it helped us "move on" to eachother and start a new one.
.. wayyyyyy back then. holy shit.

but now, i gotta use this quote to help MYSELF get over you.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

life in the faaaast ass muthafucken lane.

TRY AND CATCH ME, nothings holding me back anymore
i see more oppurtunities out there, im having fun, im living it up.
despite the fact that i still miss you, im doing just fine.

today, was a regular school day, same shit diff. day!
first started off with HSA testing, wasn't that bad, to me it wassss pretty darn easy.
finished my test, and me and jas took pictures on her new DSi.
fuck i wannttttt one, its hella fun!
and then after, it was lunch, talked stories, blah blah blah
my mom brought me food from mcd's, thank god! i was sooo hungry!
third period, char didn't come! stuuuupid.
i was SO BORED, so i fell asleep for the rest of the class
it felt so damnnnn good ;]
and in fourth period, i ACTUALLY DID MY WORK, with some help from will- i - am.
it's cool his name can be mixed up, will- i - am, i- am -will, wil- am - i, am- i -will. but then theres .. i- will - am, and that just doesn't make any sense. hahahaaa.
well gona head to bed early, HSA TESTING AGAIN TOMORROW.
boy .. i can't wait for the weekend, take a break off this stupid test.
ppppppppppaaaaarrrrrrttttttyyyyyyyyyy's! + chelsy comes back tomorrow! :D yay hahaaaa OH N HAPPPY BIRTHDAY CHELS.

" It's like me and you didn't even try, we just said goodbye, we let this love here die. And never looked back, In my mind, I'm still questioning why, Promises turn to lies, Feelings bottled inside. When the truth be told I... I'm still wondering, What if?
What if? What if, we would've worked out I believe we could've worked out If we worked a little harder " - What if -Brutha.

Monday, April 13, 2009


that i keep learning over, and over again.
sick & tired of it, it doesn't phase me at all anymore
over and done with, thank god.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Nothing more, Nothing less

Lifes going great for me<3
and i'm perfectly fine where i'm at.

chan: " i noticed that eversince .. i see life in a whole new positive way! " hahahaa, damn right.
well heres some pictures from Kandy Karnival/april's birthday!
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Thursday, April 9, 2009


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I ADMIT I CHEATED, don't know why i did it but i do regret it
nothing that i can do or say can change it, come back ..

my curiosty got the better of me.

im not giving up, never did & never will
we didn't even try one bit to make our relationship work out, we just let everything we had simply fade

9 long months without you, and 1yr and 1month with you down the drain ..
w/without you, beleive me I AM happy im pretty satisfied with life, but i know that it would be a whole lot better with you by my side.

after all this time, i still keep asking myself .. why do i still care for you this much.

.. ew this blog is so fucken emotional, but whatfuckkken ever, im just saying straight up how i feel.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009


lucky charms! :O WTF?!?! and i ain't getting any better, seriously.
my nose is all stuffy, my throat is killing me! and i feel so fricken cold to the world, hawwwww! being at home is so not a option for me, i wanna get outa here, i swear if i could drive .. id be gone and never ever be home! i keep telling myself im gona get my permit .. and then go drivers ed, then go for my license, but damn i'm so damn lazy. sad, sad, sad. ONE DAY i will, i know it, i beleive in myself .. hahahahaa, sure .. :P i already know how to drive pretty well, but standard .. a whole nother fucken story .. seriously, i suck! haha i always fricken die out! hm .. i want a job to tryna be more damn independent i need money, to support my habits, and shoppppping! :D

i am fucken badass

like that superhero guy dad thing, in the movie taken ;]
likkkke i don't even know .. watching that movie today, made me and danielle feel so cool! omg so fucken lame, shut up already. hahhaha
yeah .. back to ugly reality today, sickening.
got to school LATE as always, i never do go on time.
sat in first period, just staring .. it felt weird to be back there again.
second period .. i don't know, it was boring, talked stories, same with lunch.
third period, walked with char, and we just talked with arlex branden and tracy? idk the erking guy .. haha.
thank god char's in my class, or i think i would just fucken die already :P
fourth, talked with chanelll, and yeah i noticed i did alot of talking today.
afterschool, went to danielle's house, watched movies, ate saimin, usual.
okay, i gotta do my history project .. it's already 11:28pm.
ohhhhhh no, its gona be a long night ;(

Sunday, April 5, 2009

last saturday

of spppppring break, was the " off the shit " noli said, hahahahaa!
walked to chas's house, waited for noli to pick us up
then went to pearls to meet up w/char, then lex picked us up
and we went to janeeeen's, it was fucken cooorazeh! in there .. haha
after, we went to the shop .. i don't even remember how we got there .. seriously. lmao!
got inside .. ew it was so hot, and sweaty, and ewwwwwwwww wtf.
so me chas n char and ridge just went outside and stayed in the cars
then mostly everyone else came outside, and we just cruised and stuff.
after, i sobered up, and then it was boring, so then lex took me home.
ew, one more day .. then fucken back to REALITY -_- i hate school.
heres pictures!
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.. yesterday woulda shoulda coulda been, 1 year and eight months.
haw, where are you now dayyyyyyyyys ;(

Friday, April 3, 2009

theres this

one guy right .. that i haven't forgotten eversince day one.
the one that i kept in the back of my mind every single day,
the one that i still think about from time to time, and wonder how hes doing now.
out of every single guy i had something with, i still kept you in mind.
its not i miss what we had, its i miss you.

if only if only, is what i keep telling myself.
shit .. if i really did learn from my mistakes, i would be a fucken genious rigggght now!!!! hahaaha.

BLAH BLAH BLAH -_- whatevvvvvva.
anyways, today was allright, spent a night w/crystal :D
she picked me up, went out to eat geinki's, thanks for the treat!
then went to target, talked stories, then dropped me off.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

wasted day

of my spring break, me and chels woke up around 12 almost 1.
attte foood! then just sat in my room for over 4 hours -_- omg!
decided to get ready, then met up with brandy chantyle jas danielle noli geraldine ryan and jeremy at geinki's.
ate :D and talked the shitload of storys! funnny asss shit!
then after, waited around for adrian, but he couldnt go out ;(
so i ended up just going home, so fricken gayyyyy to the world.
but it was nice catchin up with everyone again ;] sober fun, and talks about when we aren't sober! hahahahaa.
yesterday, i met up with chels at pearls.
then we went to her house, and waited around for plans
sister picked us up, and we went to crestview, cruise around with ridge nd rozzner them.
movie night at ridges house, watched hair extensions.
i was trippppppppin! then got ride from lex home.

the other day, i waited around my house most of the day
adrian picked me up, and we just went drivinn' around everywhere with chels rachel and anthony, yup.

your getttttting out of my mind slowly, im fricken forcing myself!
the shit i keep hearing about you .. just completely changed my feelings towards you.
it makes me sick to my stomach, i tell ya.
i want a guy as SWEET, as his WORDS.
cause lately, i noticed every guy will say what you wanna hear.
sick of the sweettalkin', with nothin to back it up
big dissapointment.

Monday, March 30, 2009

sushi stealer!

yesterday was a good day, sober fun :D well for me and chels, hahahaa!
met up with adrian at pearls, then picked up maria, then picked up rachel.
went to perry park, the police comes by adrians car, " EXCUSE ME WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE?! ARE YOU GUYS DRINKING?! "
and our response was " NO SIR, WERE MAKING KANDEE BRACELETS " hahahahahaha so stupid, besides the fact that we had bud in the car .. lol.
then the stupid litttle boys, can i have your number?! EXCUSE ME?! YOUR SO YOUNG! hahaha.
then left there, went to kakaako, rachel seen her hachi! she was goin crazy!
so we were talking to the guys who bought it from her.
talkkked stories, watched rachel adrian and maria get stoned, lightshows, gave out kande's haha idk so weird.
left, cause there were cops again! omg so erking.
went to geinki's.. ate, maria got caught for stealing plates.
SO SHAME TO THE WORLD. so me rachel and chels, left them, and went to the car, the security was looking for us, so we just fucken left.
omg i was so scared, haha.
then after, dropped everyone home, then talked stories with adrian outside my house for awhile.
i wanted to fucken cry, cause my story ;( haw .. i misssssssyou.

blog when i get home, gona watch dollar movies soon, okaybye.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

i'm not gona

waste my time anymore.
i don't wanna talk to any guys for now, i just wana stay single, be happy, live life.
cause so far thats been going good for me :D i have more fun now.
i aint the that type of girl whos down for flings, i like being with a guy knowing that our relationship is worth it and it'll last.
i want someone commited, trustworthy, honest, all of the above<3

danced danced danced, techno techno techno, lightshows lightshows lightshows, vicks vicks vicks, the whole fucken night.
my nose, back, mouth, shoulders, and legs fucken hurt though ;( hmph.
that was my last rave and my last time yeah.. for awhile.
taking a break off of that lifestyle for now ;]
sober fun sounds goood, for now .. haha!
pictures from lasttttnight!
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Friday, March 27, 2009


i fucken wish wish wish WISHH WISHHHH! my wish comes true.


.. and again i blog so damn late that it doesnt show up on the right date .. yeh whatever.
today i stayed home most of the day, slept in till like 1 or something.
then showered, walked to chasitys house, dropped off money, then me and chas walked to chans.
the stupid bitch wasnt answering our phone calls, so we just went inside her house, and grabbed her money from her mom!
ahhhhomg! tomorrow! im so Xcited! :D but if my mom doesnt let me go .. i gon fucken cry! ;(
after, walked home, then chan came over, then jas
chillled for awhile, then walked back to chans house, kev them came after, hardstyled, then wenttt home.
hm .. im feelin some ice cream right bout now, chan left hers! gona eat her shit! ahah yay! fuckyou bitch!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

happy birthday chasity!

mmmhm, well woke up to my damn phone ringinnn'
abby was calling, told me to get ready, and then she came to pick me up
got to pearls, met up with everyyyyone
and then ate at cpk for chas's birthday, ordered some alfredo thing! it was fucken goood! and then after, just walked around and whatever.
then nate picked up me and chas, went to waikele for fucken nonsense!
then to the airport to say bye to caelynnn!
then back to chas's house for a small bbq, then my sister picked me and chan up, then picked up chels, then went whereever.
met up with rocky and roanne them for awhile, and now i'm home.


i hate the fact you just fucken left me here, like i aint shit ..

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Wednesday, March 25, 2009

woke up feelin'

SICK SICK SICK -_- eeewwwwwwoisehfnsokn!
my nose was all stuffed and my throat was dry and my body felt so damn warm!
my room was a fucken mess, didnt feel like cleaning till jas and chels woke up.
so when they diddd, we cleaned my room and then ate some foood.
waited around for awhile, till jas went home
then me and chels got readdddy, walked to the bus stop
i was getting so fucken sad! i was like omg so long time i never caught bus, and then my sister saved us :D
got dropped off to alas, and walked around.
bought a dressss for idk, hahaha nonsense but its cute.
then my sister picked us up again, then she took me home.

Monday, March 23, 2009

opening my eyes

to bigger and better things,
i need to stop dwelling in my past, and look forward to my future
TRYING SO DAMN HARD, to just forget about you
but i have no idea why i wont let myself, you got a hold on me, and i just cant seem to shake you offfff.

stressin' so much now days, and when i need you there the MOST, thats when you decide to leave me hanging..
i just hope this spring break takes a LOAD off my shoulders, and lets me relax, and just have fun for now.

.. trying hard to not let you get to me, but in the back of my mind.
your still the only damn thing i think about.

its a good thing that i think positive about every single problem in my life, if i didnt .. i proably wouldve broken down by now.
damn, im fucken proud of myself for being so strong

Sunday, March 22, 2009

sushi lovers

ahah i love chelsy ridge rachel and adrian :D forever and a day
lastnight was crazzzy! went around everywhere! and just yeah! omg! hahahaha.
every 21 of the month were all gona get together and eat "dinner" again and eat our "sushi" hahahaha, wasabi me! lmfao inside jokes*
body fucken hurts right now though, my back is killin me and my legs! ;( thats the suckyy part about it, hmph.

well i'm at chelsys house right now, gona go shower soon, kbye.
OHBTW, after springbreak, cuttttting down on that shit FOREAL.
gotta get a hold of myself, snap back into reality and focus on it
hm but all i can say is .. lifes been good for me, besides vvv THAT.

.. and i'm guessing you want me to forget about you, and all our promises.
i knew that you wouldnt keep your word, i still am
you proably dont even know how hard i keep fallin, for you -_-

you keep gettin my hopes up, and then just leave me off wondering and waiting around. i told you, that i don't wanna be waiting around for nothing.
and sometimes i wonder if everything you ever said to me was true.

and i'm just letting you know now, i dont like my mind being fucked around with
ive had ENOUGH from all the other guys who put me through shit, im seriously tired of being hurt
so please dont tell me thats what your doing with me, if so, tell me and ill just completely leave you alone if thats what you want, cause it sure seems like it.

seriously cut the sweetalking, and tell me straight up what you want

Saturday, March 21, 2009

kick off for spring break!

was allllright, spent most of the day with crystal cause it was her birthday.

then we went cosmic bowling, didn't bowl, just ate their pizza, haha
then after, we hit up o-lounge, i must say, it was pretttty boring!
cause i didn't roll ;( so i left there, and went to drink with adrian them, around 2ish, adrian took me nd' krisha home, i hada meeeeean asss motherfucking headache -_-
pictures coming soon.

AND IF YOU THINK, that i forgot about you .. i honestly haven't.
other way around

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Friday, March 20, 2009



crappy situation, makes me feel crappy

Thursday, March 19, 2009


is a new word i learned today, cause they said that the walmart thing was a hoax, meaning a lie! hahahaha.
so fucken dixxxx to the world whoever decided to give out that text message saying that there was gona be a shooting and shit. i got like 5 of those text messsages!
i got scared! me and adrian was supposed to go walmart today!
so ruin my plans >:| ugh!

hmmmm anyways, today was okay, first period, i was getting irratated by the one toned voice girl! she sounds like a fucken girl version of napolean! yuck.
and in second period, I SWEAR MY TEACHER WAS ON SOMETHING.
like, his eyes were all red and shit, and he was dancing, and singing baby songs, and like wtf .. idk, but whatever he was on i wanna be on it! hahahahahaha! jk.
then we played musical chairs, but i got out cause jasmine, omg fuckyou bitch! :P
then i was getttting so irratated, cause THAT bitch was all like " lets turn this place into a rave, and lets take ecstasy and fucken go crazy "
and then specifically looked at me jasmine brandon and kawika them.
EXCUUUUSE ME BITCH?! puhlease, your just mad cause you dont do it likkkke us! hahaha fucken stupid ew!
ho but i swearrrrrr! i was so fucken ready to kick her fucken face!
at lunch .. yeah, idk, boring, same goes for third period, and fourth period.
then yeah, caught bus home with kevin! omg i never caught the bus in a hella long time! ;( i was sad being in there, plus somebody was stink to! smelt like twitching whopper .. haha inside joke*
okay, gona hit the shower, then hit the sheets, peace.

reunion day!

school was allright, first period, took my final exam
cheated on it .. again.. like always. hahahah!
i swear if danielle was not in my life, idk where the fuck i would even be anymore, i think i would fail every single one of my classsses! hah
in second period, did whatever, at lunch, walked around, and then cruised in Dbuilding, as alwayyyyys.
then in third period, i was reading all my blogs, and i was getting sad, because all the ones from the past kina get to me sometimes -_-
in fourth period, it was sooooo boring, just taking pics with chanel. afterschool, went to dao's house, made saimin, and watched step brothers, that movies is fucken nonsense, but hillarious! :P
after, i walked to jasmine's house, chillled there, then went to walmart, and then back to her house, had a really really really deep conversation.
i seriously was about to start crying, she got me thinking hard foreal about everything, shes right, i do have to figure out what i want, and he has to figure out what he wants as well.
idk .. i just dont know anymore, fuck, i fucken miss you -_-
to late now .. whatever.

then after, adrian came to pick me up, went in front of my house, talked stories, got bored, so we went to crystals house.
omg i was so happppy! seeing her again, i havent seen her for over a month ;( haw.
it was a reunion for the three of us! cause were the ones who was being the most MIA out of everyone! hahaha " the squirly ones " :P
it was funny though, talking stories, reminiscin, and talking loads of shit about you! you fucking ugly african queen lookin' piece of shit, i like kick your face! nails to the world bitch! hahahhaha.
and then yeah, it was gettin late, so adrian took me home.
on the way home though, we tried to steal this blinking light that was on the sign! but then when i tried grabbing it, it was stuck!
and then i fucken stepped in this cum looookin thing! ew! ;( hahah
but will be back for that light thingy tomorrow, after we go walmart! :D

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

it sucks

when you put yourself out there again, waiting and waiting around, and come to find out, your proably only gonna be waiting around for nothing.
" its hard waiting around for something you know might NEVER happen, but its harder to give up when you know its everything you always wanted "

MMMMHM, anyways ..
dont ever go to the little caesars in ewa beach!
they fucken suck at liffffe! omg!
my stuffed crazy bread didnt even have cheese in it! like at all! and me and danielles pizza was supposed to be half cheese and half pepporoni, and it was only fucken cheese! and the stupid cashier almost charged us for two crazy bread! >:| BAD FUCKEN SERVICE. yuck

annnnyways, besides that, school was okay
same old shit, blah blah blah.

afterschool, went to danielle's house and ate the stupid ugly pizza.
watched good luck chuck, and in the movie it said that theres only one sunset in anartica and i beleived! until i googled it and it was a lie! >:|
i wanted to like ask someone to take me there one day and watch the sunset with me, but no! its a lie! got my hopes up for nothing >:| so erking! ahah.
thenn yeah, stayed a little while longer, then walked alll the way home.

my drawings on paint from third period :D

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CUTE YEAH? ^_^ ill draw more on paint later

Monday, March 16, 2009

woke up

with my body aching, i wanted to like fucken just die already -_-
but whatever, got up, and got ready anyways.
schoool, ew first period was disssgusting to the world i was grouchy and all bitchy and shit, the only good thing about it was my egg sandwich! YUM! ^_^
second period, i slept the wholllle damn time! omg i felt so good after!!!
at lunch, stayed with jas danielle chas noli and april.
talked about saturdayyy, oh how i miss it so much ;( lol!
next week again! for chasity's birthday!
third period, i workkkkked my ass off! holy shit, tried to get all my work done, so hopefully it goes to a B :D
in fourth, watched a movie, so sad, the students were like hitting the poor old teachers head on the floor, i felt so baddd.
then afterschool, i went straight home, finished myy chalkandwire thing.
then took a long four hour nap ^_^ yummy, haha!

[20:38]: everytime i see you or talk to you or even think about you, i still feel the same feelings i have for you
[20:38]: so dats a guarentee a promise i can keep

lucky charms!

was amazzzzzing!
it felt like it was a fucken bad ass dream!
danced the whole night with whoever, got lightshows, sniffed vicks/blowed vicks in my eyes, techno techno techno! sat on the floor, trippped the fuck out, gooodshit man ^_^ ahah!
made new friends, made up with old friends! shit i loved everyone! :D wooohoo hellokitty next weekend! ( idk yet still debating) gotta slow the fuck down.. haha.
shitttt, i'm so damn tired to -_- i just wanna sleep! came home bout, 430ish almost 5 in the morning! blah
anyways, heres some pictures from lastnight! & friday!
friday ..
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saturday .. and yeah i know its allll fucken hash, i look naaails, it was so fucken hot to the worllllld in there!
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.. and still in the back of my mind, every damn day, i think about you

Friday, March 13, 2009


is not my friend, fuck you! ;(

Thursday, March 12, 2009

i'm so xcited!

i cannnnn't wait till it's the weekend! omg! omg! omg! :D
if my mommmm doesnt let me go, i think i gon kill myself already! lol!
on friday, go cruise with jess justin and ridge them in crestview, its been awhile.
and on saturday, luckkkkycharms! hopefully it works out!
but yyyyeah, anyways, i hada really good day today!
woke up, got readyyy for school, and in first period, talked stories with jas danielle nikki and kawika, while eating my noodles and chicken! yum! and in second, watched and finished blood in, blood out! i like that movie, its goooooood.
at lunch, stayed with danielle chas april and char in the back of d building, hardstyling, and went back inside, and did whatevvver.
third period, omg i'm so scared that i might fail that classs ;( i really really hope not ;( i did my worrrk, and kept yelling at danielle, i'm so sorry for hitting you :P love you momma! lol!
and then yeah, me and jas were so happy, cause of our "phones" :D bwuahaha fuckyou.
and thenin fourth, just listenend to my ipod, and sang with chanel.
afterschoool, went to ms. deai's did some work, and then went to tacobell, " cheezy double beef burrito with a medium baja blast " :P
then went home, and took a nap.
now i gotttta do all my backwork -_- ugh, catchyyyalaters!

-if were meant to be, it'll find its way, right? ..
- who knows, but i really want it to happen

Wednesday, March 11, 2009


that other blog .. cause that was to mean!
see what pms does to you! hahahaha, i was just really pissed in third period, yeah whatever.

ok so yeah, today is wed niz day, yes thats how i pronounce it :]
anyyyyywho, first period, ew ms. ross came back -_- ugh nasty!
and in second period, had a test, just copied danielle's test :P lol
and then watched more of blood in and blood out, it just keeps getting more and more interesting!
at lunch, talked stories, took pictures, blah blah, went in the back of the building w/danielle jas noli chas char n april, praticed hardstyling! lol. so stuuupid, who cares!
in third pd. did workkkk, and yeah, i was so irratated -_-
in fourth, talked stories with jas chanel and edddddy sin.
afterschool, went to danielles house, we have no lives,
we sat on her living room floor from 3-4:30 eating saimin and watching bratz! omg that movie is hillarious!
and then after ate mochi ice cream :D

best kept secret, ever .. bwuahahahha.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

i misssed danielle

she didn't come to school, and i felt so lost and fucken hopeless without her!!! wich i was shit.
first period, i just ate, and in second.
listened to my ipod with kaika, and watched blood in and blood out, so funnnny!
at lunch, talked stories with jas abby chas noli and april, and was dancing and shit, " wheres your head attttt?! " :P
in third, i was ON IT! doing alll my work :D i was so proud of myself! haha.
in fourth .. omg ugly ugly ugly test -_- i FAILED, i just know i did
afterschool, went out with my sister, then to jasmine's house
and now i'm home, gona go find something to eat!

.. and i wonder if everything you said last night was true,
hope it was, cause what i said, was real talk.
got me thinkin' so much, that i had a hard time fallin asleep.

i just don't know what to do.

ughhhhh what the fucking fuck is up peoples asses now days! >:|
i thought i was fucken done with you bitch!!!!!
the shit i did wasn't enough for you to get fucken over me? GEEEZ
i like fucken kick your face one day! isehgfvnoiksdhvnoziksdhvnc ugh
fucken karip lookin shit, stupid dumb assss cunt fucking bitch ass fucker! bothering me when i'm pmsing to! so erking to the world! go find someone else to irratate!
cause i'm fucken tired of you, ew, you pissss me off bitch.

iratattting day!

.. well it started off good!
cause i had chicken alfredo pasta for breakfast :D DAMN! ^_^ ahhaa.
and then, in second period, i was sleeping like the whole time, since i was so tired from the weekend.
then this stupid boy next to me kept tappping his damn desk making the whole fucken world shake! omg! i got so irratated! iohefnowihncs, but i just decided to not bother and try to fall asleep again.
and then at lunch, daniellle and jas left me, so i just stayed with noli chas april and char.
talked bout this weeeekend and saturday! oh fuck i can't wait! :D
then at third period, it was like a free period, cause our comps were down so we couldnt really do anything at all.
so i just talked stories with krisha.
and while we were walking to fourth period, i was so mad, everyone kept bumping into me, its all kevins fault! shit! haha
and in fourth, so erking, the guy, fuck i wanted to kick his face.
cause he came in and started yelling at his gf, and he kicked the chairs, and one if it hit my leg!
and then after, my cheeeeks hurted, cause i couldnt stop laughing,
" who the fuck punches dogs?! " LMFAO.

and then yaaaa, dad picked me up, and i went home and took a nap.

and yay i gottta text :D and a call :D havent got that in awhhhhile.
i missssed it, big time.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

i know that,

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are my resttt days :D i dont like going out on sundays, even though me and chels went to alas and sutffs, but whatever shut up.

YESTERDAY! was fucking amazing! :D i never felt so good in a helllla long time ^_^ hahahha!
but now, im fucken so lazy, and tired, i just wanna sleep for the rest of my life! :P

yeah, heres some pics from lastnight, YEAH I KNOW THERE HASH, WHO FUCKEN CARES!!!!!! we had fun, bwuahaha! my lovE's :D
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Saturday, March 7, 2009

you left

me here, wondering, and thinking whattt if..

at jassmans house

bored.. blah blah blah.
um yesterday was ok, went out and then jas came over.
supppposed to sneak out again, but no! our ride squirlied out on us those fuckkkkas!

well gona go out later on tonight, I'm xcitttted! :D

Thursday, March 5, 2009

sometimes ..

I JUST DONT KNOW -_- oiwehvncoivskdvnc moidj ugh, i wishhhh.. -_- nvm.
stressssin' every fucken day, so erking
or maybe its just cause i'm gona get my period soon! >:| YUCKKY.
hm not gona worry bout anything for now, just gona keep everything to myself ;]

blah blah blah. ANYWAYYS! school was okay,
in first period, didn't do much, i wanted to sleep
in second, watched blood in blood out, i likkke that movie! " VATO LOCOS, ESSSSAY! " or however you spellll it! and the whole guy on guy action sucking fingers?!?! wtf is with he homo shit?! HAHA
then kaikkkka was rapping to me so loud, " can i whisper in your ear?" hahahah! excuse me?! who do you think you are? lmao.
at lunch, stayed with abby jas danielle chanel kevin kaika and his friend most offff the time, just talked stories and whatev.
third period, i drew on paint :D omg i fucken love my artwork! its fucken beautifull! ill put up them on here later on! lol
and then in fourth, i fell asleep cause the lights were off, it felt good :D
i had to stay afterschool with kevin and danielle -_- omg so erking
i went to ms deai's class to do work, and then WTF?! i didnt get shit done, cause i had to go walkking around with kevin gettin our evaluation shit signed! ughhh i hated walking -_- to much stairs!
and to much hugs from ervinne! damnit! hahahaa
and then, danielles mom picked us up, and then got food, and then i went home, and took a nap ^_^

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

if i could,

i would .. those days when i feel like the WHOLE WORLD is against me, is when i missss you most.

HMMMM, regular fucken day, again
got to school late, and my teacher and i had a little talk about me needing to come to class on time, oh well fuck you! im not coming on time, its so boring! hahaha.
in second period, i diddd my work! and stupid kaika, omg you like me die yeah?! dummy! hahaha i did not wana put that shit in my bag!
at lunch, i was all happy hyperish again! janel brought red velvet cupcakes, ouh yummmy! :D for davins birthday, oh yeah, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAVIN! :P
and then i just talked storrrries with whoever ..
in third period, it was really really boring, i wanted to sleep, but im failing that class, so i had to do all my backwork -_- yuck.
in fourth, whatever, it was ugly, ahaha!

afterschooool, waited in the front with danielle chas kawika and noli, then dao's brother took us to her house.
ate cheeezy double beef burrito's and cheezy fiesta patatoes with baja blast! ^_^ YUM, .. reminded me of someone though ;( haw so unfair .. mmmmmhm.
and then idk, chilllled.

OH BTW! IS THERE A MR BOUNTY?!?! LMFAO! stupid fucken danielle making up anykine nonsense names.
and then yeah, danielle and tisha walked me home halfway
and i had to walk the other half by myself, omg so fucken scary.
there were these three guys singing to me while i passed by, " hey sexxxay lady, i wanna get to know you " so fucken unecessary! hahaha!

okay bye.
HOLY SHIT! i just noticed .. but today woulve been 1 and 8, wowww.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

good tuesday

idk, i just felt goood in school today :D ahah
first period, got in class late, cause i went to get noodles and chicken! YUM! and did my work, and stared at this screensaver on mrs. comp! was so trippppy looking " ONLY IF I WAS .." haha yeah jas?
and in second period, kept getting mad i wanted to throw my phone at someones face! shit oihs jdnoikshdjf ugh! bitch. just leave me alone you fucken dumbassss >:| goddddd! BESIDES THAT, i kept laughing at kaika, cause how he raps .. " MAD PROPS " yeah kawika?! hahahahahaha shutup.
and then at lunch i was just listening and dancin to my musicccc, idk i was happy! haha.
and the on the way to third period, i kept jumping around with kevin, haha.
in fourth, talkked stories with edison and dao.
edison wouldnt let me pull out the white hair from his face! so erking to the world, good luck my asssss! haha.
and then afterschool, was supposed to go eat with kaika or something? but i didnt feel like it, so me and dao when to geinkis, and bought two spicy tuna bowls, and a tuna hand roll.
was so gooood! :D ahah.
then yeah, jas cammme over after, and yeahhhhhhhhhh.

now im home, k bye!

.. waiting to see, what happens next
goood things come to those who wait.

regular day

at schoool, nothin' new.
1st period, i just sat there, grinding on my food!
and my teacher didnt even talk to me today :D i was so happy that i didnt have to hear her irratating voice, yuck.
second period, i ACTUALLY did my work! well cause, everyone was forcing me -_- so erking, lol
at lunch, i had to tell abbby my story! haw i wanted to cry, but she made me feel better, i love you abby :D
third period, we had to take like 5 tests?! WTF i cheated on every single one! bwuahahaha!
and in fourth i couldnt stop laughing! cause chanel, idk she stupid. haha

afterschooool, took a nice long nap :D it felt good, didn't do that in awhile.
jas was supposed to come over but .. i didnt hear me phone ringing? so i missed her calls, oh well, lol.

lately, i beeen thinkin', and seems like your always avoidin' me now days, and yeah idk what to do.
truth is, i still got mad feelins' for ya,
but theres nothing i can do or say about it.
" if he wants you, hell do whatever it takes" I LIVE off that quote.

Monday, March 2, 2009

" if he wants you,

he'll do whatever it takes. " - hes just not that into you.
I LOVVVE THAT MOVIE :D it made me cry, ahahah
that movie makes ya think and shit.

Sunday, March 1, 2009


the whole damnn day! -_- yucccccky.
out of it.. let's just run away to the moooooon.

Saturday, February 28, 2009

dont play

minnnnnd games with me -_-

a little recap

on lasttttt night.
hm, it was okay .. didn't really get to go out.
went to kalihi, met up with chels and brandy, then back to ewa beach
cruised at danielles and jasmine's house.

then after, went to my house, and yeah just stayed here
so borrrrrring to the world!
and then after, sneaked out, and just went drivinnn' around ewa beach
blah blah blah, now i'm tired, got in at four, and i just wannna sleep -_- haha.
okay gona go shower now, bye.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

my dad said

erking to the worrrrrld! ugh ;( i like cry!

toooday, was allright.
went to school late AS USUAL
and jasmine brought me pizzzza and a breadstick :D i fucking love her.
and in second period, i was just listening to music, and throwing paper balls into the trash can, and hollly shit! eye candy! ;]
bwuahahaha, right chanel?! :P shut up.
and then yeah, at lunch, took pics with abbby them, and just talked stories with everyone.
didnt feel like going third period, so me and krisha ditched and went to tacobell, cause i was suppppper hungry!
then my sister picked us up, and we dropped krisha back to school,
and then me and my sister, just went cruising around for the rest of the day, then took me home, and i toook a long relaxxing nap :D


.. it better be worth it!

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

boring day,

" tu me manque "
oh and heres pics from the weekend,
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Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
FYI! we dont usually smile like that keh .. its just cause yeah!!! hahahaha i love them.

Monday, February 23, 2009

" for every woman,

theres a man that will make her stronger ..
and for every man, theres a woman that will make him change "
- myself.

interesting yeah? i was thinkin' bout it in classsss, and like wtf. lol, TRUE SHIT.


thinkkkkkin' .. -_- blah, whatever already.

happy birthday to me! :D

allright birthDAY, but gooood birthday WEEKEND! :D holllly shit! lol

this morning, my mom woke me and chels up, and suprising me with my birthday gift! ipod touch ^_^ yay!
didnt show that i was that happy, cause me and chels didnt have enough sleep, came home like around 2ish 3ish -_- fuckkk im so tired
but it was fucken worth it! ahah.

then got ready, and went out to eat lunch with my family
ate at the resteraunt that we ate at last year ..
reminded me of SOMEONE -_- hmmmm, anyways!
after, my cousin dropped us off, and we met up with karlo them.
then yeahhhhhhhhh. blah blah blah
watched fired up, UGLY ASS MOVIE EVER! it was fucken unecessary! lol

well yeah, gona go shower, then sleep
i'm so tired from this past weekend -_- allright, peace.

oh and, promise? my assssssssssssss. hoikndsfcuiz8ousfjmsoyidjupoijkds

Saturday, February 21, 2009


for adrian to come and pick me and chels up, ommmmmmg
hes taking forever! ommmmmg!

yay, i get to eat a tuna rollllll tonight! :D bwuahhaha

Friday, February 20, 2009


Xcitedddddd! bwuahahahah! :D

Thursday, February 19, 2009


two or three of my fucken classes?! omg.
yeah, gonnnna go MIA for awhile, cause shit i gotta catch up on my work -_-

catch me iffffff ya can, laters.

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

im having a really bad day

today ..
I WANTED to go to geinki's but NO, stupid dao wanted to come to third period.
now im fucken stuck here, and now jasmines crying, cause of stupid boys.
ughhhhh, i hate boys, they give you so much fucken stress ;( HMPH.

.. gona ditch fourth period, and go eat geinki's! i need that shit right now :D
fuck i wannnnna spicy tuna ROLLLLLLLLLLLLLL >:|

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

two assignments

done, and im to lazy to do the rest of my shit.
i told myself, i wasn't gona slack that much in school anymore, but oh wells ..
im suppppper tired right now! i don't even know why, i slept early last night to!

ughhhh class is boring, my eyes are heavy
blog when i get home, jas is comin' over, okay, peace.

Monday, February 16, 2009

president's day

idk we need a day for them?! so fucken waste, hahaha.
well atleast theres no school :D

mmmmhm, anyways .. today i woke up around 9! idk why i woke up so fucken early, hawww i miss sleeping in and then going out late, then coming home late.
idk why i don't do that anymore?! ahah next weekend i'll start again.
and then yeah .. waited around for plans, i wanted to like go out out today! but yyyeah nobody was doing anything
so i just went to dao's hale, got there around 2.
and ate my asssssss offf! :D bwuahaha!
ate spaghetti that made me feel like paluing big time! -_- omg.
and then dao made me saimin with egg and calamansi :D YUM!
then, jas came over, and we walked to tcby!
dao bought me yogurt :D ahaha i love her!

then went back to dao's house, and i ate again! pork adobo! haha
and then, around 9, i walkkkked ALL THE WAY home.
i didn't mind though, i like walking now, gives me time to think bout things alone.


was the best day of my weekend :D

got ready, and went out with my sister
went shoppppin'. and then picked up chels, at her house
went to jess's house, and just waited there for awhile.
went to ruben's partttty, and just chilled over there
then mico came to pick us up, and went back to kalihi
dropped off chelsy, then they took me home,

and fuck i noticed, that i always blog to late, so when i blog, its the wrong mother fucken date -_- uggggghhhh! haha.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

i miss

the guy who knows what to do and say just to make me happy.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

happy valentines day!

hmph, i don't have a valentines, but oh wells whatever, idgaf! hahahahahaha.

last night, i felt gooood :D couldve been better, but oh wells theres always next weekend!
btw, next week sunday is my 16th birthday! wooooooohooooooo.
i can't fucken wait! :D

.. well blog when i get home later on tonight.
gonnnna go out with crystal them, or hotelparty w/chels.


okay, i'm home now ..
ew today was so fucken wasted forrrreals -_-
i just ended up staying with my sister the whole day, and chels.
we at at millions? my sisters friend treated us.
they have hellla fucken good meat jun :D i was so happy! ahah
and then after, we went to kunia, cause my sister had to do her nails!
and me and chels was so bored just sittttin' in the car trying to find out what to do,
so we met up with adrian at pearls, got him four baloons and wrote anykine shit on it! hahaha it was so cute.
then after, adrian went to a party, so we just waited in the car, then we went to hearns house, then secret* ahaha.
and then dropped off chels.
i got like a big ass baloon and like other small baloons, a rose, and a teddy bear :D from somebody, ahahaha.
i felt so bad, cause i was bein DH to the worrrrrld.
so i stopped by and gave him a hug.

and now im home, and bored, yuck.

.. truth is, i missed you a whole lot today -_-
i really really wanted to see you, and atleast get one of your tight hugs, that i love so much.
hm .. but it can't work that way ..

Thursday, February 12, 2009


and second period was funnnn :D
but i decided to just go home after, cause idk
i didn't feel like stayin' in school

bleh, after awhile, i got bored, since my mom wouldn't let me out again ;( so gayyyyyy!
so i just ended up walking to dao's house! :P
chilllled there for the rest of my day.
and now i'm home.

and like shittttt, i can't get you off my damn mind!
hm, is that a bad thing?

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

are there canned mashed potatoes?

i asked danielllle, and she doesnt know! haha.
i was wondering, cause i saw this girl holding a bag of heart baloons for valentines day and it looked like cans! haha.
aw speaking of valentines day! i don't gotttt one, so sad ;( its commin' up really soon already, in like 3 days! holy shit.
and my birthday's coming up, in 11 more days! wow, sweeeet sixteen!
i wannna like _____ my ass off! hahaha :D hopefully!

hm, i was so happy in second period when i got a text from someone*
i seriously jumped! and said yay! hahahha.
haven't got that in awhile :D

hahahah danielle's fucken blind as fuck! she fucken sucks at life! lmfao!
well yeah, blog when i get home, byyyyyye!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

i have ass cramps

im in third period, finished up two of my assignments, and im done for the day.
even though i still have a load of shit to do.

i reallly, don't like school right now.
it's fucken boring to the world!
omg, holy fucken shit, im trippin! i swear to god i dont remember typing " its fucken boring to the world" wtf?!?!? hahahahah!

first and second period was naaaaails -_- yuck.
hm, and my mind keeps wandering off into space or something, i cant concentrate good
i felt like i was in my own world the whole day! bleh.
hm just got a call from chelsy so yeah, gona talk to her

blog when i get home, or i might go out afterschool, dont know yet but yeah,

hm, yeah im home now.
my sister picked me up from school, and just went cruisin' around with her and her friends.
went to chelsys house, to color her hurrr.
and then after, went home.

hmph, another damn day without talkin' to ya -_-
gay gay gay.

Monday, February 9, 2009

it's fucken sad

when people you know become people you knew, when you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life. how you used to be able to talk for hours, and how now,
you can barely even look at them.

i hate mondays.

cause it's the start of the new weeeeek.
got to class late as usual, like every damn day, haha
i had meaaaaan ass heart burn! i couldnt even move, i felt like crying ;( seriously.
and stupid zack was just making fun of me.

second period, i just satttt there listening to the ipod, and played pepito with jiovanne them,
at lunch, went to ramiscals to play round with the comps.
then third period was so uggggly! i wanted to cry cause me and danielles convo ;( hahaha fuck!
at 4th pd, didnt do anything, i just sat there playing with someones duck? it was soooo soft! haha.
then yeah, got picked up, now im home.

being grounded fucken sucks -_-
but yayyy! i get to go out this weekend forsure :D
proably not gona go to my 3rd and 4thpd tomorrrow, just dont feel like it,

annnnnnnnnnd yeah, IMSU BIG TIME.
it feels different not hearin' from you for the whole day
suckkkkkkks ass! and i dont like it
mhmmmm -_-

and apparently,

you can handle not talking to me, so i guess thats how its gona be, huh?


hmmmm, had a very interesting convo. with crystal on the phone earlier,
and like shes right, i gotta stop falling for the wrong guys -_-
i'm just gona find myself hurt again, and i dont want that
i can't and wont let myself make the same mistakes again
i am a good girl, i never did fuck a guy over once,
so i do deserve someone who's gonnna treat me right.
but, its hard to not fall for someone who knows just what to say to make you feel good, and who understands you, and that you could talk to them bout anything for hours.
why wouldnt you fall for that?
well for now, im guessing that i should just leave you alone, if thats what you want.
thanks for always making me smile, and making me super happy.
im always gona be here for ya when you need someone to talk to.
i know that your a good guy deep inside, despite all the rumors ive heard about you
so i just hope you stay happy :D , and not all sad like when i first met you.

i remember that you told me, " theres gona be that one guy whos gona cry in the middle of the night, right after he only sees you tear" hm, to bad you couldnt be that guy ..

Sunday, February 8, 2009


your life to it's fullest, laugh too much, smile too much, because every sixty seconds you spend being upset, is another minute of hapiness you'll never get back.

so erking,

alreadyyyyy, this whole situation.
i don't know why you cant just leave me alone, seriously i dont even like you
saying that hes gettin in the way of our relationship, WHAT RELATIONSHIP?! so fucken erking.

haw, im bummmmed out big time ;(
your gona stop talking to me now just cause of him?
i really dont care about him, i care about you.
he doesn't make me happy, you do.
i cant talk to him the way i talk to you, we just click.
YEAH I KNOW, im gettting myself into a big mess
everyone doesnt need to fucken remind me,
i know what im doing ..
its what i want, not what others want.
i cant fucken help who i like.
annnnd if your just gona leave me alone like this, then its your choice.
even though i really dont want us to stop talking ..
ughhhhhhh -_- idk anymore.

Friday, February 6, 2009

it was hot

and now im freeezing! wtf?
in third period again, bored bored bored.

haha danielle didnt know that you have to be 18 to go into chuck e cheeeezin.
lol, she sucks at life, poor girl.

ANYWAYS, schoool's gay, i hate school, fuck so ugly
im gona go downnn today, im excited :D ahah

BLOG WHEN I GET HOME, if i'm not lazzzzzy
okay bye!

k home, and i got bussssted -_- fuck so erking!
ANYWAYS, today was alllright, well towards the ending anyways
got a ride with my sister to hearn's grandmas house
met up with everyone.
then went to hearns house, then to perrry park
me hearn, & adrian was playing tag, it was fuckennnn funny
i got tired, and felt like paluing after, so i didn't wana play anymore
then after, we went back to hearn's grandmas house.
chilllled outside, i was so hyper, we took pictures and everything
then mico bought me and chels icecream! :D it was good.
but i got sick of it after, cause of alll the sprinkles

then after, my sister came to pick me and chels up, and went somewhere fast kine.
and then she took us to perry park, met up with everyone again
me and chels was just throwing the ballll everywhere, lol
and then idk, people so erking, i wanted to go home
but decided not to, and then went to mcd's, GOT MY HUG :D lol.
then went back to mico's hale.

i couldn't stop smiling the whole night again :D hahahahaha

Thursday, February 5, 2009

today is so

DEAD, like someone got shot or something .. hahaha.
im in class, and i'm supposed to be doing my caption and reflection but yeah,
im lazy, and my back hurts REALLLY REALLY bad.

hm, a recap on yesterday ..
caught bus to waipahu with krisha, and then crystal met up with us.
caught ride with her, to kalihi.
dropped krisha off at kopke, ew saw someone so fucken karippppp, sickening :P lol.
then after went to tacobell, got a cheezy double beef burrito :D besttt shit ever from there! and it reminds me of someone .. lol.
after, met up with alll adrian and mico them.

then went up to perrry park, kept laughing at adrian cause he kept pushing everyone down with his belllly! lmao.
after, went to mico's house to pee, then went to kopke.
just stayed there for the rest of the night.
awwww, i was sad cause i didn't get my hug ;( so unfair!

thennnn yeah, mom called yelling at me, cause she said to come early, but i didn't.
well whatever, idc, lol.

ok bye! :D

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

i have alot of energy,

righhhhht now!
im in class, and me and danielle can't shut the fuck up :D YAY
her stupid twister is going over the dessert now! lol

and i can't wait till afterschool, im seriously, fucken happy


blog when i get home, bye.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

i'm so happy

today :D
fuck i love my life now days, seriously.

like idk, something just makes me so fucken happy! and hyper! hahahaha.
im in class right now, and i cooled down from lunch,
but at lunch i was so hyper! i kept running around with danielle and jasmine
fighting over the ipod! and i kept staring at the sky and the trees, ahahaha
shit, i felt like i was onnnnn it .. i wish, haha.

then we were throwing the camera around everywhere, tryna fuck it up
so danielle could get another one.
buttt, i didnt work, it just looks ugly now!

mmmmmhm. anyways,
gona blog when i get home from danielles house! k bye! :D

Monday, February 2, 2009

i love smiling

at myyyyy phone in class :D
just because of my text messages ..
the guy who sits across of me goes, " your weird! you smile at your phone " :P, so what?!?!?! lol.

^ that was in third period.
today was really boring, school was ugly!
.. and lately i been thinking, and i dont know what im gettin' myself into again.
;( i dont wannnna find myself caught up in another mess
for now, im just letting whatever happens happen, and im goin with the flow ;]

"It's hard to wait around for something you know might never happen, but it's harder to give up when you know it's everything you always wanted."

it ain't right

but hey, you can't help who you like right?

so unfair ..

today was okkkkkay, supposed to go out with adrian, but he got stuck at home.
i was stuck at home for awhile, just talking on the phone, laying around eating my asssss off, got bored ..
so my sister, dropped me off at mommmma danielles hale buu! lol
chanel danielle justin june brandon and tisha was there
brandon left early, so me and danielle was inside her room talking stories while everyone else was playing video games.

got borrrred, so i ate like 2 cups of ice cream hahahaha
and then we all went outside, and just chillled
i tried climbing the fence onto the roof, but i almost fell hahaha.
then around 7 walked june chanel and justin to the busstop.
walked back to daniellles house, and then walked around cause we were bored, and i felt likkke walking alot! haha.
went back in, and just stayed in her room
supposed to do work but slackkked so much!
then her dad dropped me offfff home.

oh and today was superbowl! haha

Sunday, February 1, 2009

it started

offf boring today, we just sat in crystals car, and sang songs
really really loud.

then got borrred, so chilled at alamoana beach park
then went to walmarrrrt, cause i had to pee! lol
ouh bought lichee (= yummmmm!
then, went to ilikai hotel, in the backk.
and just ran around in the sand, and wrote
"I HOY RABINATTTI" hahaha inside joke* with chels,
i love inside jokes :D

affffter, headed back to kalihi and chilled outside of hearns house
laughed & talked stories.

i love hugs.

Saturday, January 31, 2009


i didn't sleep in this morning.
i usuallly wake up at like 1 or 2, but right not its 11:43 ahah.

yesterday was goooood.
caught bus to meet up with crystal,
then we went to pick up chelsy, then went to kalihi.
picked up jerome francis and cj.
and headed up to chrispy's house,

met up w/everrryone, and then got bored
so we went to play basketball at perrry park, ahah
just sat there, cause no one ever lets me play ;( lmao.
the sky was so pretttty! so me crystal and chels was takking pics.
i climbed the fence thingy, and hearrn kept trying to push me offf, so i fucken almost died -_- but adrian saved me by catching me, but then he made me hang upside down! hahahhaha so funny.

after, we alll went to chrispy's house, and bbqed.
i kept laughing at adrian cause he was drunnnnnk, lmao
and YYYEAH! :D ^_^ (= hahahahah stfu.

got bored, so we walked down to the gas station, i hate walking! ;(
adrian kept throwing up, and saying nonsense unecessary things, lmao
had to go back up, and fit 8 people into adrians smalll ass car! hahaha,
then dropped everyone off, then adrian took me home.

Thursday, January 29, 2009


let the fear of striking out, keep you from playing the game. - cinderella story.


watching that right now,
welll anyways, today, was a regular school day -_-
got to school late cause i woke up at 7:30! ahahahaha.
i just told my mom to write me a note saying the garage was brokken or something, lmao.
first period, i didnt really do anything, i was just sittting there blank
second period, toook songs from kawika's ipod, and watched the rest of juno, and talkkked on the phone :D so cool mr.cannon lets us do whatever.
at lunch, met up with everyone in D building, then i had to go take my stupid test ;(
i think i passsed though! cause danielle helped me cheat
like she always does :P lmao

third period, was ugggggly
i just sat there, looked at pics, andstuffff.
4th period, i was so pisssssy
i was so fucken tired! i couldnt keep my eyes open!
maybe its cause i went to sleep at like 3 lastnight :P
cause SOMEONE got me scared again,and i couldnt sleep, lol!

afterschool, i was suppposed to go with jas them, to meetup with june them
but you see, what had happen was ..MY MOM WAS BEING A FULLLL TIME BITCH.
she was yelllling at me in the car, and i was yellling back
i dont like yellling at her but shit, she made me pissed

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
ahahahhaha :D foeva

im freezing

my assss off right now! WTF
i dont understand this weather, i swear the worlds ending!

ANYWAYS, today, was ok.
got to school late, first period talked stories w/jasssmine & danielle.
i hate ms. ross! ;( stupidddd ladeh.

second period, watched juno!
i wannnna act like her when i get pregnant :D hahahaha
i love this classs, its fucken chill.

at lunch, walked to the manapua man w/ jas danielle chanel and abby
jas kept panic attacking big time! so erking! haha, but i love her
i was grrrrrrindin' on my food cause i was so hungry!
at third period, we had to go to the library
didnt do any work, i just sat there, talkiiin' stories
and i kept getting busted! so erking, lol
fourth period,i was dying! SO BORINNNNG. omg.

afterschooool, me and krisha caught bus to downtown
i dont like over there, yuckkky & gross! :P haha
then adrian and mico picked us up,
krisha went to derins house, and we went to chelsys hale buu! lmao
afffffter, crystal met up with us
went to blazin steaks

so i decided to visit brad, talkkked stories with him
and the littttle girls that i love somuch :D
shit i wouldnt mind havin' them as kiddds, there so adorable! lol
thennnnn, after, i went home,

now im here, n' imtired -_-

OHAND, i decided ..
i ain't gonnna let myself get mixed up in that mess
i like where i am in my life right now, so yeh


Tuesday, January 27, 2009

accidently ..

started thinkin' bout you, WTF?!?!?!? -_-
i don't want to, and i dont mean to

i don't like

guys who try to hard, its fucken annoying.

Monday, January 26, 2009

i ran out of title's

for my stupid blogs.
mmmmmmhm, as you proablly know, im in my third period class again,
its borrrring, just listening to mommmas ipod, and bleh.
justin, jethro, and julio? sp? cammmme down at lunch,
but they had to leave, because people was eyein' them out.
hahahhaha sad for them, come here for nothing.

.. idk what im doing afterschool,
either go with themmm, or with danielle jas n' chanel.
blah blah blah

so borrrring ;( i like die
& im hungry, really hungry >:| my life is so sad at the moment.
i always do this every third period, when im suppposed to be doing my homework
fuck, whatever.
i have so muchhhh shit to do,


Sunday, January 25, 2009

last night

was fun! i loved it n'
I LOVE BRANDY! :D hahahhahaha

Saturday, January 24, 2009


" will never put you through, something you cant handle " - dianalyn.

& yesss, thats true.
cause now, i'm doin a whole lot better
and im actually starting to love my life and appreciating it.


Friday, January 23, 2009

im on an escalator ..

says ms. daie or whatever,
but i think im on a fucken elevator bitch! HAHAHAHHA

ew, danielle has a pimple.
but i have one to, fuck so uggggggly i like kick em off my face! >;(
& i think jasmines mad at me, just because we hid the ipod from her, im sorrrrry, i love you jasmine amber! :D HAHHAHAHHAHHAHAH!
i love jasmine amber with allll my fucken heart & soul :P

buttttyeh, i'm bored, this class is so quiet.
me and mommma is the only ones laughing in here, except thos samoan girls .. hahahaha.
omg, so scary, they gon killll me, SUWOOOOOP! ufa.

ok goinnn' down today,
blog when i get home, and YAY! i'm so exxxcited for the weekend, some illegal shit w/brandy! :D ^_^

oh and another thing

" every guy will hurt you sheila, but theres gona be that one guy whos going to cry in the middle of the night, right after he only sees you tear " - SECRET BITCHES! lmao.


whats meant to be

will find it's way - crystal lazaro.

i just hopppe, that theres gona be a time in place for us,
i really do.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

third fucken period AGAIN

this class is so quiet,
and i just got a call from chrispy, ouh and now i gota text from adrian, and hearn! hahahha.

yesterday was good :D
OOOPS belll rang, k bye.

mk, i'm hommme now
afterschool, i went to geinki's with danielle noli blake and that other guy, idk his name, lmao. but yyyeh,
ate, mommma paid, thanks momma danielle! :D lol

after, went to ewa seed
then saw brandy pass by!
then she decided to come w/ussss.
i fucken misssed that bitch, had alot of catchin' up to do,
but yeh, chillled and talked stories,
around 5, got a ride home, was texxxtin' and i just ended up sleeping.
wokeup from my nap, and now im bored ;(

gona go shower, then eat or something!
ahahha, okkkkkbye.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

phazzzzin' out

its third period, so boring ..
listening to danielles ipod
" you really are my ecstasyyyyyy"
i think im gona go day dream now! hahahahah fuck you

danielle thinks shes boss.
pshhhh, so ML her
who the fucking fuck does SHE think she is?! so lame

my interview is today, telll you how it goes when i get to my hale buu! lmao shut up

a little voice

in my head.
keeps tellin' me, that theres still hope.

.. and i dont give a fuck if there really isnt.

but at the same time, i could be gettin' my hopes up for nothin
and end up just hurting myself all over again.
but atleast this time, i wanna be able to say that i atleast tried.
i'm fightin' for what i want now, & i aint givin up so easily anymore

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

i'm still

brad's right ..

" trying is an effort and its worth something, dealing with it will hurt, but the outcome is your fear, just face it & overcome it. but you never know, what comes out of it might be something to hope for. " - bestbrad.

alll i can do is hope for something good to come out of this,
idk what might happen, or if hes even gona talk to me & listen to what i have to say.
but i'm tired of having to please everyone, this is for MYSELF, and im gona do what i think is gona make me happy.
even if i'm just gona get hurt in the end,HE'S WORTH THE TRY.

karlo said to blog this, because its really "deep" and "meaningfull" hahahahahaaaaaah..

so why try even though i know for a fact that he doesnt give second chances?
i was the first girl he ever asked out,
i was the first girl who he ever cried for,
i was his first love,


Monday, January 19, 2009

6 8 12 (listen & read lyrics)

Ooh, ooh
Do you ever think about me?
Do you ever cry yourself to sleep?
In the middle of the night when you're awake,
Are you calling out for me?
Do you ever reminisce?
I can't believe I'm acting like this
I know it's crazy
How I still can feel your kiss

[1] - It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away
I miss you so much and I don't know what to say
I should be over youI should know better but it's just not the case
It's been six months, eight days, twelve hours
Since you went away

Do you ever ask about me?
Do your friends still tell you what to do?
Every time the phone rings,
Do you wish it was me calling you?
Do you still feel the same?
Or has time put out the flame?
I miss you
Is everything okay?

[Repeat 1]

It's hard enough just passing the time
When I can't seem to get you off my mind
And where is the good in goodbye?
Tell me why, tell me why

[Repeat 1]

Sing it for me
Ooh, ooh

today is offfficialy

6 8 12

.. six months, eight days, 12 hours.
since we broke up.

haw wtf, i didn't wannnna feel like this right now
but ugh, i missssssssyou so much.
IVE ALWAYS MISSED YOU, even if i was another guy, you were still there in the back of my mind.
why would i still come to brads house, even though i was with someone else, and he told me not to,
its because i knew you would be there .. haw
and yeah i know i was stupid for choosing him over you,
this is MY KARMA big time, karma's a bitch, and it bit me right in the ass.
.. i couldve been happy right now, i couldve still been by your side.


UGHHHHH, i made a really big mistake ..
you were that one boyfriend that made a really big impact in mylife.

you made me so happppy, my parents/family liked you alot, even ALL my friends approved.
you would do things for me that i wouldnt expect you to do,
you were someone SPECIAL, someone DIFFERENT.
.. and it's allllmy lost, i fucked up big time.
and now i know, i can never have you back in my life
cause your that type of guy, who doesn't give second chances
and after alll that ive done, why would a guy like you ever takeme back ;(
i just wish one dayyyyyyy, you'll be back in my life.
even if it's not us together, atleast friends.


in and slept till like 3,
then wokkkkeup,around 5 i got ready
and then crstl came to pick me up
there was me, crstl, krisha, deo, & his friend

went to ezogiku! :D i love there fried rice! so yummmmy.
then we went to walmart,

dropped krisha off home, then met up with adrian
had fun telllin' stories, and just cruising.
around 12, i went home

and now im bored, yuck ;(

Sunday, January 18, 2009

if you don't fall

how would you know how it feels like, to get back up?

so lazy

i just wanna stay home & rest :D

the past two days was really good, for me! ahha
yesterday, i went to pearls with chels, then went to her hale buu! lmao
then crstl came to meet up with us, got ready
then went back to pearls again, cause we had to pick up her mom
then saw a whole bunch of people that i didnt get to see in a long time,
the two littttle kids, jessica and jewl hugged me yelling "SHEILA I MISSSED YOU! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?! ARE YOU AND DENNIS GOIN BACK OUT YET? " omg .. so shame, but i miss those two so much ;(
i used to play stupid little games with them! AW
then i got hugs from everyone ;] that really made my day :D i couldnt stop smiling! omg, i misssss alla' them!

then after, headed back to kalihi went to pick up chris and saw something that i didn't wannnna see.
hm, its not like me to actually come out and yellsomething like that,
but i couldnt help it.
likkkke, how would you feel if you saw you ex bf that you RECENTLY broke up with, holllldin another girl
i mean hearing about everything was enough, but actually seeing it with my own eyes was wayyyy to much for me.
so i couldnt help myself, i was pissssed.

but nah, its okay.
they do look happy, so best of luck to you two :D

AFTER, picked up chris, then mark,
went to crstls grandmas house, ate then left.

and then after went cruising, met up with adrian,
then after .. hahahahahah, i felt fucken gooood! :D

Saturday, January 17, 2009


DAY ^_^

around 4 adrian picked me up, stopped bypearls
then went to hearns house.

picked up hearn, then chrispy
then went to meet up with mark and crstl.
went to menchies to turn in my application :P

then went to geinki's, attte there and i kept fucken laughing cause i was stoned, so erking, haha.

afffffter, went back to menchies, and ateyogurt :D YUM
then was supposed to watch movies again, but the last show was sold out
so we just cruised in the parking lot.
we got bored, so we went to morgan's corner.
i got scared cause hearn said he saw a black dog pass by >:| so scary
then after we went grudge house,
we were supposedto actuallyget outa the car this time
but fuck no one wanted to.

so we went to the "gspot"
was so cold there! holllllyshi.
and so erking people kept prankcallingme, andin the bg was someone saying " i love you sheila " what the fucking fuck?
so crstl kept yellllingatmyphone,haha.
its ok, so cute that people prank me just because they love hearing my voice :D aw keep callling! hahahhah.

then after, aubrey them came and chillled
me and crstlandchels was yelllling so loud, for fun haha
we didnt mean it, so funnny BIG DICK! lol.

afffter, we watched adrian spank the other guy while racing!
me crstl chel and chrispy wasyelllling, GO FAT BOY! HAHA

today was good, oh AND WHERE THE FUCK WAS THE STORM?! lmao
so ML, bitchesssssssz.

Friday, January 16, 2009

that guy,

that told me he loved me, who said i was amazing, who asked me out under the fireworks on july4, who would gave me butterflies everytime i see him, who showed me how it feels to be happy, who cared about me, who made every minute with him worthwhile, who hugged me tight in his arms if i would cry, who told me i was beautifull even without makeup, who put up with my shit even if i was the most irratating person in the world, who would cook me food when i was hungry, who would take me out to dinners and treat me, who took me out on dates, who rather catch bus with me instead of car rides because that way he could spend more time with me, who made fun of me if i did something stupid, who would hide somewhere and scream and scare the shit outta me, who i could talk to about anything &everything, who would take care of me when i was sick & i do the same in return, who told me everyday that he missed me & that he loved me, who let me pick his booogars and wipe it on his blanket, who would take showers with me & i would have to scrub his black ass, who would have spit water fights in the shower, that i would lay in bed with for hours doing nothing & still have a good time, who would give me a compliment everyday, who would make ugly faces at me if he was bored, who would feel bad for leaving me out when hes playing cards or breaking with his friends so he comes to kiss me and say i love you even if i don'tmind, who had a sister that i could talk to about anykine things and be comfertable, who took me to his family partys, who introduced me to his dad even though he never did that with any other girl before, who my parents acutally approved of & even the rest of my family, who wasnt ashamed of me, who brang me around his friends and i ended up being close with them, who would hug me out of no where, that instead of holding hands we would run around places like bestfriends, who accepted my friends and treated them nicely,who wouldnt mind me around his friends, who wouldnt mind cruising with my friends who TRUSTED me without even questioning me, who wrapped me in his arms when we slept at night, who accepted me for who i am, who could be the randomest guy ever,
who never gave up on me ONCE, even though i did, and that one guy who i also didn't consider my lover, but my bestfffriend.

but yup ..i wanna meet "that guy" all over again.
no, not to be with him in a relationship ..
but to actually be close with again, and still even be his friend.
..and you never know, only time will tell if i will ever get him back in my life again.

AND NO, its not that im running back to him only now
just because i dont have that other guy anymore in my life
its because the other guy, blinded me from seeing that yes,
i really do still miss him, but i just kept it in the back of my mind.

..hmph, maybe one day ill get the courage to say
IM SORRY for what i did.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

in class ..

and the bell was supposed to ring already! ;(
not supposed to be on here, BYEEEEEEEE

^ that was in my3rdpd class.
i swear i felt like i was on something in that fucken class
my eyes kept closing, and the room was spinnnnnin' or some shit

afterschool, met up with chelsy in waipahu.
found out something very good :D OH IM SO HAPPY ^_^ YAYAYAYA!

well hopefully i dont have to go back ;(

afffftah, went to alas, walked around & stuff.
then went to chelsys grandma's house.
playyyyed with julia, n'mya

after, mark& crstl picked us up
dropped off chelsy, then me crstl&mark went to crystals house,
got there, talked stories with mark until crystal was done showering.
thennn after, got dropped off home.

and now i'm stuck here ;( ah

each day keeps gettin' better, still in shock n everything
thinkkkin' how he could do this to me
BUT i can honestly say, i'm not missin you.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009


a whole lot today :D

schooool was okay ..
1stperiod talked stories with tori & danielle
2nd, did my workkkkk,
lunchhhh, was boring
talked stories with abby, and ate lichee candy :D YUM

3rd .. omg so BORING
the stupid daie ady whatever her name is, so erking.
she split me and krisha up, while i was in the middle of a conversation with her.
stupid bitchhhhhh ;( i like switch out!
4th pd, i copied everyones work
and laughed the shitload bout anykine stufffff.

was supposed to go jas's house but i just went to danielle's house instead
was pretttty fun.

ate saiman w/egg and calamansi! YUM

wellll gona shower now .. no sleeping late tonight
last night i only had like 3 hours of sleep? wtf ..
cause i was talking on the phone to long ahah.


after all this

shit that happened.
i can HONESTLY say, ive become a more stronger person.
no more crying, im done.

like jasmine said, ive been through SO MUCH already
and i dont need him to tell me he cares,i don't need him in my life & that i deserve someone better.

and honestly YEAH, i do deserve better
i dont neeeed that bullshit in my life
i know for a fact now, that im better off without you
i dont need a guy who doesnt give a fuck about my feelings and whos just a selfishhhh bitch
cause all you ever do is lie, lie, lie.
whenever i think about you ..i get disgusted just thinking bout what you did to me.
it makes me fucken sick to my stomach
i cant even think about happy memories with you anymore, because you just blocked it all out with everything you put me through

fuck alllll you cheating assholes out there
if you gotttta a good thing going
don't fuck it up

cause its just gona come back and bite you right in the ass
KARMA'S A BITCH! remember that
even though this was my karma .. its gona hit you sooner or later to.

i dont feel the pain as much anymore,
he just made me learn, to not trust anyone so fast
or fall for someone so fast anymore

so THANKYOU for helping me realize that i don't need you,
thanks for hurting me this bad, so i knoww to not make the same mistakes again.
thanks for everything, i feel a whole lot better bout myself.

and another thing i learned from alla this is " never leave the one you love, for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love "

butttt sooner or later, i'll be happy again :D
i just hope you are.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

LISTEN & READ. ( lyrics)

I don't wanna say I still loved you
It hurts me everyday thinkin' about
Who you were kissing not me
Oh nana nana nana (not me)
Oh nana nana nana
I'mma speak the truth
I ain't gon' lie
I let you go with all the tears I cried
Thought we was goin' ride
Oh nana nana nana
Oh nana nana nana

And I'm gonna tell everybody
Cause you cheated
And I'm Gonna tell everybody
And Mistreated
And I'm Gonna tell everybody
I don't need you
And I'm Gonna tell everybody
So ya leaving
And I'm Gonna tell everybody
I don't need it
And I'm Gonna tell everybody
Don't believe it
And I'm Gonna tell everybody
Ya deceive it
And I'm Gonna tell everybody now

[Verse 1]
Sittin' up in my room
I'm lighting candles
Handlin' my handle thinking why
I could I let this situation get the best of me
When I gave the best of me
It's just crazy how one minute we connect
I was baby ya lady sweet sadie
Holdin' hands was your favorite
{Now I} Now I ain't got no sad song to sing
You're dead wrong to me, cause I was so committed but
Since we separated I know you will never find
Another chick like me that's why I stay up on ya mind
I know it's hard for you to hear, but I ain't got the time
I moved on, I moved on
I don't want you now

I don't wanna say I still loved you
It hurts me everyday thinkin' about
Who you were kissing not me
Oh nana nana nana (not me)
Oh nana nana nana
I'mma speak the truth
I ain't gon' lie
I let you go with all the tears I cried
Thought we was gon' die
Oh nana nana nana
Oh nana nana nana

And I'm gonna tell everybody
Cause you cheated
And I'm Gonna tell everybody
And Mistreated
And I'm Gonna tell everybody
I don't need you
And I'm Gonna tell everybody
So ya leaving
And I'm Gonna tell everybody
I don't need it
And I'm Gonna tell everybody
Don't believe it
And I'm Gonna tell everybody
Ya deceive it
And I'm Gonna tell everybody now

[Verse 2]
I ain't trippin' I'm just saying
Look at what you missing out on now
Yep it's all out now, I'm goin' all out now
And I ain't gon' cry about
Grab my keys to that Bentley GT
Call all my girlfriends and ride
You ain't go nothin' on me
{Christina's going out to party}
You ain't got nothin' on me
You ain't go nothin' on me
Really this thing ain't nothing
You ain't got nothin' on me
{Run and go tell everybody}
You ain't got nothin' on me
You ain't got nothin' on me
Really this thing ain't nothing

I don't wanna say I still loved you
It hurts me everyday thinkin' about
Who you were kissing not me
Oh nana nana nana (not me)
Oh nana nana nana
I'mma speak the truth
I ain't gon' lie
I let you go with all the tears I cried
Thought we was goin' ride
Oh nana nana nana
Oh nana nana nana

I beleive

that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go. Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they go right. You believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart, so that better things can fall together." -Marilyn Monroe
^ true shit, and a quote that helps me think better of myself.

mhmmmm, still hurting, but eventually all things will get better in time.
like everyone said, " you can do better, you dont need him"
or what MY BESTFRIEND MONK said " ahhhhh, sheila. you can do better, you dont need that, you need a MAN" haha fucken bitch.

.. but still i don't know if i wannna let go just yet.
but at the same time, i dont even know what im holding on for
im just reallllllllllllllly lost.

i need HIM to tell me what really is going on, and what he wants

he's seriously making me go crazy .. idk what to do.

but for now, i'm just gonnna mind my own buisness
focus on school, & family & friends
i been hurt to much already to deal with alla' this.

IM STRONG, CONFIDENT, & i know i can make it through with out falling apart.

Monday, January 12, 2009

how could you

do this to me?
.. you don't even know how hurt i fucken feel right now.
talking to someone else, calling them babe, saying you miss them, and who knows what else .. you actualy didnt think it would affect me?!?! fucked up big time.

i chose YOU over someone that i loved so much,
i couldve stayed with that person, and know that i wouldnt be hurt like this. i couldve been happy. my mistake big time
i had to give up friends that meant the world to me just for you.
i had to go through so much shit, just to be with you ..
and you treat me like this?
if you wanted to talk to someone else, why couldnt you just leave me? why couldnt you just tell me that you liked someone new?
instead of hiding everything behind my back, and
instead of me having to find it out for myself.
i hate guys who cant decide what they want ..
but did you honestly think that you can have both at once?
gosh .. i cant beleive i have to go through this pain all over again.
i been hurt so bad before, and i thought that it would finallybe the end of it.
cause you did make me really happy ..
i was starting to let my guard down, and i was learning how to fall in love again.
and it just hurts knowing that you ruined everything for us.
it hurts knowing, that i cant trust you, or even any guy anymore

i really do still want to be with you ..
but how can i? how can i learn to even trust you again?
its gona be hard, so thats why i have no idea what to do ..

you proablly didnt know but ..
i really did start to love you, and i really do care about you so much
but what am i supposed to do now?! IM LOST. its gona be hard to move on because you really did make an impact in my ife.
you were someone that i could actually start opening up to again .. and start having a commited relationship.
but you werent commited all along, always accusing me of cheating on you or talking some other guy?! pshhh, LOOK AT YOU.
your really fucken fucked up, i wasnt expecting this from you
i thought you would change for me .. but apparently not.
and you even waited for me for 6months .. so i actually thhought that you wanted me, and that you would treat me right.

so .. what do i do now? do i move on? give you another chance?
i dont even know, atleast tell me what you want.
if you dont want me in your life anymore, TELL ME
and ill just move on, even if its gona be hard for me, and even hurt me
im strong, i can get through it.

but just know,
you lost something good,
i never did once talk to another guy behind your back,
because i thought to myself, why talk to someone else when i already had you?
i was nothing but good to you, i was devoted to you, loyal, trustworthy, and caring. YOU HAD ME, so its all your lost

i didnt loose anything, what is there to loose from a guy who talks to other girls behind a COMMITED HONEST GIRLFRIEND? nothing.
just my heart being broken all over again, and someone i loved and cared for a whole lot, even more than myself.

ugh, crying for fucken 5 hours straight isnt even worth it anymore
atleast i tried to work things out with you,
so its only obvious that you dont want me anymore.
i hope your happy now.
.. im still waiting for you to talk this out with me, all i can do is wait.
if not then .. best of luck to whoever your talking to now,
i hope she can make you happy, since i obviously couldnt
im sorry that i couldnt be as great as her.
take care of yourself, and don't hurt any other girl like how you hurted me.
atleast learn your fucken lesson.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

it's 2:26 am

and im sittttting down on the bathroom floor
because chelsy is fucken scared of eli .. gosh.

she keeps asking me unesscary questions about karlo,
because shes scared to be quiet.
wtf is wrong with her.

and now she has no conditioner!? like, i dont care.
and now, im bored
and my ass hurts from the floor.

and if i shower soon, i dont have to worry about it chelsy said
this is a really ugly blog
and shes almost done, another 4 mintues of scrubbing her ass, sounds pretty boring to me.
" oh your reallly blogging" she says,
who the fuck would i be talking to then?

.. fuck who does you?!?!!? SHUT UP.
mad to the world already, fuck life
it gives more respect for me.
she dropped my soap, i knew it was the soap
now shes washing anthonys cum off her hair now HAHAHHAHAHA
silky smooth, (stupiddddd sheeela, she make a lieuhhh) ;D

catch ya laters thans, lol bye.
so im gona leave my bra on the whole day,
because chelsy said my boobs come firm.
YAY shes done.

fuck, not nesscesary!

ok get out, go already, bye.

okkkkeh, itsz my turn now ! ;b
sittin on the fuckn bathroom floor gettin splashed by the
stupidass water >;d bizatch.
this shit is so erkkking, thas why i dont have
this 'blogspot' thing >;D


it's allright.

just cause you dont know what to say,

and because, im not giving chelsy food :D

more sleeping soon, bye.

Friday, January 9, 2009


but yay tonight were all gona go watch movies!

fuck, i'm scared though ahaha

.. im fucken hungry right now to. shit
im proablly gona go make myself a sandwich :P wtf, hah

welllyeah, blog later when i get home, gona go shower
then eat, then get readddyyyyy!



so erking.
.. the fuck,

you talk about yourself as if THE WHOLE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND YOU
girl, get over it.
as you can see .. no one gives a fuck anymore,
so just leave it alone

EVERYONES HAPPY, so just stfu already. gooooodnesssss.

keep talkin shit, the shit you say isnt proablly half as bad as the shit we say bout you anyways!
your fucken disgusting,

.. who gives a fuck about the pose?!?!? SO IMMATURE!
we can keep doing that if we fucken like
saying you guys made it up, is like saying you guys made up fucken cookies or some shit.

like WTF?!?!? i bet so much fucken people do that
fuck, if you guys likkkkke, TELL ME IN FRONT OF MY FUCKEN FACE "THATS BLAH BLAH FUCK WHO CARES POSE! " and i would just gladly clap my hands, to make you guys feel like you fucken accomplised something.

YOU WIN THE GOLD! since you say shes fucken bronze ..
puhlease, look at your fucken style
SO WHAAAAACK! ew i feel sorry for you, ahah

k whhhhateva. fuck em


were not in intermediate anymore, i'm letting everything go already

Wednesday, January 7, 2009


i haven't updated eversince the beginning of the new year!
hm .. anything new? NAH
but all i can say is LIFE IS GOOOOOOOOOOD!

i honestly, dont care bout anyones bullshit anymore :D
who gives a fuck about people who talk bout you,
" your not known till your talked about"
SO KEEP IT UP! your making me famous :P haha.

anyyyyyyways, i cant wait till thursday!

well, ill update laters.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

im buzzin

while typingt his but .. HAPPOPPY NEWYEARS EVERYONE! :D ^_^
shit, 2008 went by so faaaaaast! wtf ?!?

well, its a new year to start off fresh
gona change for the betttter :D
im gona start goin to ALL my classes, well atleast try
stop pissing my mom off so much, and actually listen to her
no more drama, and bullshit with bitches, FUCK THEM.

i'm changing for good.

wellllllll, i hope this year will go good,
shit, last year was the best!
but hopefully this year is better, and i wont go through the same mistakes again.