Monday, January 12, 2009

how could you

do this to me?
.. you don't even know how hurt i fucken feel right now.
talking to someone else, calling them babe, saying you miss them, and who knows what else .. you actualy didnt think it would affect me?!?! fucked up big time.

i chose YOU over someone that i loved so much,
i couldve stayed with that person, and know that i wouldnt be hurt like this. i couldve been happy. my mistake big time
i had to give up friends that meant the world to me just for you.
i had to go through so much shit, just to be with you ..
and you treat me like this?
if you wanted to talk to someone else, why couldnt you just leave me? why couldnt you just tell me that you liked someone new?
instead of hiding everything behind my back, and
instead of me having to find it out for myself.
i hate guys who cant decide what they want ..
but did you honestly think that you can have both at once?
gosh .. i cant beleive i have to go through this pain all over again.
i been hurt so bad before, and i thought that it would finallybe the end of it.
cause you did make me really happy ..
i was starting to let my guard down, and i was learning how to fall in love again.
and it just hurts knowing that you ruined everything for us.
it hurts knowing, that i cant trust you, or even any guy anymore

i really do still want to be with you ..
but how can i? how can i learn to even trust you again?
its gona be hard, so thats why i have no idea what to do ..

you proablly didnt know but ..
i really did start to love you, and i really do care about you so much
but what am i supposed to do now?! IM LOST. its gona be hard to move on because you really did make an impact in my ife.
you were someone that i could actually start opening up to again .. and start having a commited relationship.
but you werent commited all along, always accusing me of cheating on you or talking some other guy?! pshhh, LOOK AT YOU.
your really fucken fucked up, i wasnt expecting this from you
i thought you would change for me .. but apparently not.
and you even waited for me for 6months .. so i actually thhought that you wanted me, and that you would treat me right.

so .. what do i do now? do i move on? give you another chance?
i dont even know, atleast tell me what you want.
if you dont want me in your life anymore, TELL ME
and ill just move on, even if its gona be hard for me, and even hurt me
im strong, i can get through it.

but just know,
you lost something good,
i never did once talk to another guy behind your back,
because i thought to myself, why talk to someone else when i already had you?
i was nothing but good to you, i was devoted to you, loyal, trustworthy, and caring. YOU HAD ME, so its all your lost

i didnt loose anything, what is there to loose from a guy who talks to other girls behind a COMMITED HONEST GIRLFRIEND? nothing.
just my heart being broken all over again, and someone i loved and cared for a whole lot, even more than myself.

ugh, crying for fucken 5 hours straight isnt even worth it anymore
atleast i tried to work things out with you,
so its only obvious that you dont want me anymore.
i hope your happy now.
.. im still waiting for you to talk this out with me, all i can do is wait.
if not then .. best of luck to whoever your talking to now,
i hope she can make you happy, since i obviously couldnt
im sorry that i couldnt be as great as her.
take care of yourself, and don't hurt any other girl like how you hurted me.
atleast learn your fucken lesson.

1 comment:

xnimrod said...

hoo man thats fucked up right there.
thats like everything you two have been through was for nothing....

hope you feel better soon sheila...:[