Tuesday, October 28, 2008

i hate mondays.

today was, ugly, and boring.

have a nice fucken day bitches! ^_^
i wisssssssssssssssssssh it was the weekend already ;(

Monday, October 27, 2008

hey! i didn't blog for the past couple of days! -_- welllll, i was busy this weekend. This friday i went to haunted plantation with chelsy, jasmine, summer, alexis, kevin, jmica, ruben, justin, june, jaron, n' othhhher people. shit was so fucken scarrry! i fell down cause the stupid ugly girl was in my face, and i got scared and fell while brining kev down w/me. hahahaha, everyone was goin crazy screaming and holding on to whoever they were next to! lol. ruben looked like a dumbass :P n' on saturday, i went shopping with my sister, at alas and pearls. Then after, i went to chelsys house, to get ready for megans dinner. After, we went to wards, and met up w/everyone, at buca de beppo! they have good food! :D mostly the pizzzzzza was good. Then we all watched saw 5, ew .. so grossss that movie .. i hate it. I wanted to fall asleep. and then after krystals boyfriend dropped me and chels off to alexis's house, and we got picked up there, and i slept ovvvver. and then today, we went to puppy swap meet. i saw a pupppy i wanted! i named it yoda :D haha, idk why. n' i want a rabbbit ^_^ alexis promised me :P and then after we went to alas, and then i got droppped off home. and yeah, it was a gooood weekend ;]

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Friday, October 24, 2008

bad day ..

today, was so fucken irratating! ugh! it was not my day! -_-

keh .. so like, in the morning mom was bitchhhhhin'. shit, she always bitches at me?! geez. about spending to much money, and blah blah. When i got out the car i slammmed it so hard i swear. Then, when i got to class. omg .. i had to sit by people i don't even like. cause i got there late -_- Then in 2nd pd i found out thiss girrrl doesn't like me or some shi? so funnnnny. my nickname or shall i say "code name" for her and her little friends is maria .. HUNNNY MY MIDDDLE NAME IS MARIE. omgsh, i was yelling " I FUCKEN LOVE BITCHES, YOU MAKE MY LIFE SO FUCKEN AMAZING AND EXCITING!" i hope she knew i was talking to her. stuppppid girl >:
fucken SBG ALREADY! :P lol. number 4! haha ^_^ thennnnn after that, in 3rd pd. i couldn't make any fucken beats because i had no idea what to do -_- then in 4th i hada' testt, and shit .. not good! then afterschooool, because chelsy couldn't find out where to go? and omggg. haha but i love her :D then after that! mark .. so irratating asking me what size my bra is and shit. and jp n jmica and everyone else blowing bubbles everywhere! and shoooting water at me -_- omggggg. but nah, alla' that proablly irratated me just because i was having a bad day! ahah :P

i love you, 4EVVVVA! n' evvva ^_^ <3

Thursday, October 23, 2008

tooooo day.
was an allright day at school, 1stpd. didn't do much, i just basicly sat there starrrring off into space 2nd, nothhhin either, we hada' sub so i just aate ^_^ ahah. Lunch, was fucken boring ... omg. just talked stories with abbby chanel danielle and kevin. 3rdpd, made beats. 4thpd, did my work, like a goood girl :D ahahhaha. Afterschoool, caught bus with kylen to kalihi. met up w/alexxxxis. Then we went to ward, walked around, then walked to alas! SHIT SO HOT. i was like dyyyyin from the waves of heat or some shit, haha! walked around alas, loooking for a dress to wear for megans dinner thingy this weekend. YAY! the weekend is comin' up, CANT WAIT ^_^

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Monday, October 20, 2008

it's been 4 days since i blogged :P ahah oops

i had a busy weekend. On friday i cruised w/chels jo dino mikey and jon? i forget the other guyyys name. on saturday, it was chan's bbq. n' chels slept over. On sunday, cruised at brad's house. haha ANYYYYYYWAYS, today school was boring .. like ew. then came home, and slept .. shit, i hate mondays. there so lazzzeh. mmhm .. i feel kind of out of it right now to .. yesterday wasn't a good day for me. seen someone i really didnt feel like seeing .. and yeah. Got me thinkin' again.. shit ;( wellllllyeah. i'm gona go! k bye.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

TODAY, was borrrrrrring. Woke up, got ready for school. mom n' dad was bitchhhhin' cause i lost my wallet ;( so fucken annoying! got to school LATE. walked with chanel to classs. took this ugly test called PSAT's. Me and danielle just guessed on mostly everything. i bubbled my answers to make an arrow ^_^ haha. i wonder if we were supposed to do good .. whatevas'.
the test took like 1932759823579 hours! omg. nah like 4hours. After it was lunch, and lunch was like more than an hour. So me n abby just walked around, and talked stories with ervinne and vinny them. After it was fourth pd. BORING, talked stories with chanel danielle jas n' edison. Then afterschool, was supposed to go out with chelsy, but change of plans. And i just went with my mom to do my nails. they cleaned my feet :D feels so fresh and shhhhit. Then came home, n' blahhhh.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

i hate those days .. (UPDATED OCT23,08.)

when your at home alone, n' all you do is sit around and think ..
and i came to a fact that, HONESTLY

.. i stilll miss you.

Yeah, its been a couple months now that we broke up.
but, how can i let go of something that made such a big impact on my life?
its crazy how i still get that same butterfly feeling when i see you around.
and i hate it, how we say hi to eachother like weve never been close before.
i just HATE that feeling. I want it to be like how we used to be, how we would just act like we were bestfriends, and play around like silly little kids in love. Yea, you are my first love. And always will be, no matter what. I really am sorry for what i did. Talking to another guy, i know that was my fault. i know i was wrong, and im stupid for doing that, and i know that it proablly hurt you really bad. but .. how could you just up and leave just like that? without even trying to work it out, and you didnt even let me say my side of the story. All you did, was yell at me, made me cry, and didnt even let me talk. you made me feel like i wasn't shit. like i didnt mean anything to you. was all the promises we made lies? i did keep my promises to you. I never did ONCE cheat on you. and if you honestly think that i did, you got it all wrong. he was just a friend, and nothing more at the time. All i can say, is IM SORRY n' that i hope you forgive me, i think everyone deserves a second chance, and i really wish you wouldve gave me that option. but .. can you blame me for doing that? when you were always acting like you dont even care anymore. Giving me ugly bullshit excuses to why you werent able to see me/talk? So it wasn't entirely my fault. The thing was .. i never even liked that guy in the begining. My feelings for you stayed the same. I stilll don't understand, how you could yell at me telling me you love me crying your eyes out, saying how hurt you felt after what i did. and then the next day, say .. i dont care for you anymore? it doesnt make sense to me. I wanna talk to you so bad about how i feel, i wanna telll you how bad i miss you, and how much i still care. But i'm fightin it. cause i just have a big feeling, that you dont feel the same anymore.

Honestly, i don't even know what i want from you? like, i still do want to be with you .. i stilll wana be there for you and everything. But ..is it worth it? Am i really wasting my time thinking about you. HOPING your gona come back. it scares me, because there is another guy that wants me in his life, and i feel bad .. making him wait, telling him im not ready, and what if he decides to move on. Am i wasting that chance to actuallly be with someone who cares for me? I'm scared to move on .. im scared to actuallly fall in love with some other guy, i'm scared to act the same around him as i would act with you, i'm scared to take care of him when he's sick, fool around like little kids, fall asleep in each others arms, yell at him for acting stupid, eat dinners, watch movies, gaze at the stars, give big hugs to, give big wet kisses to, just lie in bed for hours just talking about everything and anything, share secrets with, vent off to when im sad, tell him that he's " amazing", and that i love him. IM SCARED, because it's not you anymore .. it's not the same, and i don't even know if i'm doing the right thing, cause i do really really really really like that guy and he treats me right, but i'm still in love with you.

Theres not one day, that you don't cross my mind. Things come up, and make me think of you. It's silly that im still stuck at the point where im going crazy not being able to love you and be loved back. But what can i do? nothing. One day, i just hope that theres gona be a time in place for us, that we'll go back to how we used to be. But for now .. im gonnna live life the way i should be. Not being sad, not being depressed. Nothing but pure hapiness, cause i do deserve to smile. And i hope that your doin the same to. i hope your not being a bad boy, and that your doing good in school, like i always told you. But yeah. im doing fine, for now this is goodbye, i need to learn to move on. Thanks for everything youve done for me, youve made me stronger person. The whole year we spent together was one of the best years of my life. Goodbye Dennis Acorda Corpuz Jr. <3 take care of yourself and remember your still my first love, first "boyfriend" my first EVERYTHING ^_^ all i know is, eventually .. everything will get better in time.
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Image and video hosting by TinyPic
i never blog for like two dayyyyys. aheh, my bad. I've been busy.
well yesterday was chan's birthday, me chan jess jo megan jem brandy timmy & kev ate at bubbba gumps! shit, was so gooood. i love there mashpatatoes & shrimp! YUM ^_^ then we walked around for ahwile, n i met up with jmica & ruben. Caught bus w/them to kalihi, n' then went to brad's house. Chilled with him and jay, made brad make me saimin with egg :D haha, then drank a little, then went home. and uh today. first day back to school from fall intersessssion. I reallly was not in the mood for school today. it was fucken boring as helll, i felll asleep in my 1st and 2nd pd. So at lunch i just decided to ditch, and i went home and slept (=
kkkkkkkkkay so ugly this blog. k bye! haha :P

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Sunday, October 12, 2008

HEYYYYYYY. shit so boring, i'm at home right now. ugh i hate sundays! it's so lazy! i was supposed to go to brad's house, but i really don't feel like goin all the way to kalihi! ahah fuck. wait, jasmine just called n' shes comin over. so i gottta meet up with her! kkkkkkkkkeh bye ;]