that guy,

that told me he loved me, who said i was amazing, who asked me out under the fireworks on july4, who would gave me butterflies everytime i see him, who showed me how it feels to be happy, who cared about me, who made every minute with him worthwhile, who hugged me tight in his arms if i would cry, who told me i was beautifull even without makeup, who put up with my shit even if i was the most irratating person in the world, who would cook me food when i was hungry, who would take me out to dinners and treat me, who took me out on dates, who rather catch bus with me instead of car rides because that way he could spend more time with me, who made fun of me if i did something stupid, who would hide somewhere and scream and scare the shit outta me, who i could talk to about anything &everything, who would take care of me when i was sick & i do the same in return, who told me everyday that he missed me & that he loved me, who let me pick his booogars and wipe it on his blanket, who would take showers with me & i would have to scrub his black ass, who would have spit water fights in the shower, that i would lay in bed with for hours doing nothing & still have a good time, who would give me a compliment everyday, who would make ugly faces at me if he was bored, who would feel bad for leaving me out when hes playing cards or breaking with his friends so he comes to kiss me and say i love you even if i don'tmind, who had a sister that i could talk to about anykine things and be comfertable, who took me to his family partys, who introduced me to his dad even though he never did that with any other girl before, who my parents acutally approved of & even the rest of my family, who wasnt ashamed of me, who brang me around his friends and i ended up being close with them, who would hug me out of no where, that instead of holding hands we would run around places like bestfriends, who accepted my friends and treated them nicely,who wouldnt mind me around his friends, who wouldnt mind cruising with my friends who TRUSTED me without even questioning me, who wrapped me in his arms when we slept at night, who accepted me for who i am, who could be the randomest guy ever,
who never gave up on me ONCE, even though i did, and that one guy who i also didn't consider my lover, but my bestfffriend.

but yup ..i wanna meet "that guy" all over again.
no, not to be with him in a relationship ..
but to actually be close with again, and still even be his friend.
..and you never know, only time will tell if i will ever get him back in my life again.

AND NO, its not that im running back to him only now
just because i dont have that other guy anymore in my life
its because the other guy, blinded me from seeing that yes,
i really do still miss him, but i just kept it in the back of my mind.

..hmph, maybe one day ill get the courage to say
IM SORRY for what i did.