field trip

to the bodies exhibition.
woke up early, got ready, and headed to school.

met up with jas danielle chanel n' kylen.
then met up with our teacher, got in the bus and left school.
when we got there, i didn't even notice how close it was to alas,
got inside, was grossed out by all the bodies.
shit, looks so disgusting.

after, our teachers let us go to alas, n' walk around
me chanel danille jas n' kylen went to the apple store n' took pics.
after, i visited dennis's mom at macys, talked stories with her for awhile
then left, shhhhhit, i miss his family -_-

then went to mcd's got ice cream, and then walked around nordstrom.
then, got back in the school bus, and headed back to schooool.

today, was alllllllright, better than any other regular day at school.

besides ..

all that shit down there VV

My weekend went pretty good.
On friday, afterschool my sister picked me up.
Picked up chels, then went to pearlridge.
I hate it there, to much little youngins' runnin around
i only like it if im goin shopping or something.

After, we met up with ridge.
Then my sister dropped us off at kopke.
Me and chels left there to go to her grandmas house for awhile.
waited till 6 and then headed back, cruised with babe crystal allan anythony, n' other people.
I was mad at SOMEONE for smoking right in front of my face.
But it didn't ruin my night, it was pretty funny because ridge and babe was stoned as fuck.
and i just kept laughing at them,
after, my sisters boyfriend picked me up, and took me home.

On saturday, stayed home till like 3.
Then my mom took me to jasmines house, and we got ready for jem's party.
Left her house, and got there at 5.
It was fun, got to see people i didnt see in awhile, n' had vent sesssions w/brandy n' other people.
and jas n' june was fucken adorable :D

after, me jo brandy megan n' jess walked down to kmart.
crrruised around, n then joy n' chan picked us up, and hada girrrrrls night out :D
drove to walmart, and stole a whole buncha' shhhhit.
i got so much stickers :D there pretty.


then after, joy dropped me off home.

now .. its sunday .. ugly, and boring
was supposed to go to jas's house, but i'm just really lazy right now :P
so im just gona stay home, n' kick back n' chillllllllll.

got me thinkin'

I really do want to be with you but, i cant see myself being with someone else
yeah, i have been getting used to you being around.
and i have been getting used to kissing you hugging you, but still yet..
its not the same.
i can't see myself falling in love with you, and i don't want to waste my time
if this relationship between us isnt gona go anywhere far, and lately, i been thinkin and maybe its a good thing for me to stay single for awhile.
and just think everything over, and give myself time.
and you know that i'm not gonna go around talking to other guys, because im not that type of girl
when i want to be with someone, i stick to my promises.
goodness, first loves are the most hardest things to get over.
because it was actually something really serious, and i just cant push that into the back of my mind.
im so confused, i hate when everyone tells me to just go out with you because that one person still has my heart. and i'm not ready to let my guard down just yet.
I know that you'll wait for me, but i feel so bad that im doing this to you.
i told you many times, that you can just leave .. because i really dont know when i'll be ready.
but for some reason, you stick around.
i dont want to get your hopes up SO HIGH, that i just end up hurting you more.
i cant do that to you, because thats gona make me hurt as well.
ugh, i dont understand my own feelings.
i realllllllly do miss him, and ive let you know that so many times.
and you understand how i feel.
i hate that your so sweet and understanding, because it just makes me like you more.
and i cant leave you alone.
but sooner or later, i know that you'll get tired of waiting, and im scared, and i dont want that to happen.

I'm just really confused, i know that i cant have that 'person' back in my life anymore.
so why dont i just move on? it kills me everyday thinking about it.
i really do wana leave the past, in the past.
but it haunts me.

To me, i feel as if i just cant give up on him just like that.
for some strange reason, i still have hope for me and him, even if its been like 5months that we broke up.
i don't know, i'm not saying that i would leave you for him again.
its just that, sometimes .. i really do wish he was back in my life.
I cant get over it, i'm still in love with him, even though he proably doesnt even fucken care for me anymore.
And i actually like you a lot. Love, vs. like .. i dont know what to choose.
I'm just torn in between the two, and i dont know what is right for me.

pissy.

in the morning, my mom kept assuming that i was swearing at her or something?
.. the fuck, so ugly.

and then in first period, i was so quiet, i barely did anything
i just sat down and listened to everyone talk.
in second period, i got SO PISSSSED OFF -_-
i found out .. that this girl don't want to mention names.
is talking shit about me, idk, so erking.
i hate when people get mad at eachother over boys, so waste my time.
i hate immature little bitches like YOU.

i was so pissed off, that this girl kept staring at me .. and like she always stares at me!
so i yellled at her across the room " WHY DO YOU KEEEP LOOOKING AT ME?! I SWEAR TO GOD! YOU KEEP STARING AT ME? STOP STARING AT ME! SHIT " she didn't say anything.
but i knew she was sayin somethin to her litttle friend on the side, so annoying, whatev.

lunch, me abby danielle jas kevin and ervinne just talked stories.

third pd. did nothin again, got hella scared from the movie mr. showed us
4thpd, nothinnn again. sat, chilled, and just stared off in to space day dreaming.
i love day dreaming :D

afterschool, sister picked me up, went to waipahu, then allll the way to alamoana beach park to go joggging.
and then back home.

YAY TOMORRROW'S FRIED DAY BITCHES :D can't wait.

boring wednesday ..

first period, did nothhhin.
just fell asleep until this boy sitting next to me woke me up -_- asshole

second period, just did my work, but was slackkkin so much.
lunch, went in my math class to finish up work ..
and talked to babe on the phone

third period, did nothing again
me n' char was just talking stories.
4th period .. ew. whatevver.

afterschool, sister picked me and jas up
then went to my house, ate like fat bitches
saimen n' egg :D yummy.
then went to baskin robbin to apply for a job
i hope they call :D i neeed moola

yeh .. usually go out afterschool,
but today felt so lazy
i was supposed to go with crystal them,
but she told me to late, an i couldn't ditch school anymore
oh welllll.

hopefullly tomorrows gona be better :D

.. i love when people type things on there blog, that don't even make sense.
it makes it so interesting ;]

ANYWAYS.

i haven't updated in awhile, my weekends been busy lately.
friday went down kalihi with chels. & met up with crystal n' allan them.
went to hearn's house n' watched the game, hearns mom is hillarious.
on saturday, started the day late .. went out at 4.
with chels, jess, vince, n' eric.
met up at pearls, and just drived around looking for a place to cruise.
ended up in waikiki, at a beach, drew a dick world in some fucken generic sand! haha.
and we drew a fucken humangous dick on the beach, it was so ugly.
after, went to mcd's ate assssh cream :D
talked stories, then got kicked out by this soleh man, cause we were to loud .. hahaha!
after, got dropped off at alexis's house
then crystal picked us up, cruised at kopke for awhile.
saw somone who's cute ;] damn, haha :P
then after went chelsys house, and i slept over.
sunday was chill. woke up, n' then the rest of the day just stayed at chels's house.

yup, gooooooood weekend ;]

halloween, oh eight.

today, started off fucken irratating, cause some bitches need to grow up. Seriously, it's not even your situation, and i know i'm not in this to, but still yet, mind your own fucken buisness. And get the fuck over yourselves. it's there problem, let them deal with it. you guys dont know NOTHING, check your selves.

.. besides that, cruised at kopke, then went ghost hunting at the abandoned hospital. I was fuckennnn scared we climbed up the ladder and through a window to get inside. inside was so fucken creepy,and gross cause had so much dust. and then got caught by cops for trespassing & me and some other people got caught for curfew, they made us stand in a line! in front of this like ugllly humangous blinding light, i couldnt see shit around me! haha i was so scared when the cop said " 15 n' older, step up" i was like ... shit, me and ridge was fucken scared and we kept saying " my fucken parents gon kill me" hahaha. and more worse, there was fucken bud inside the cars, but good thing they didnt check. but they let us go, cause had like 35 of us! i didnt even know had that much lol. thank godddddd! after, went back to kopke, then back to ewa again to pick up someone, and then i went home, cause my my mom was bitchin'. they said i can stay out, and they told me go home -_- so erkkkkking. besides all the bullshit n' drama nothin got in the way. this night was chill, and fun .. and fucked up! lol. a night to remember ;] yeah rig? haha.